Farewell, 2013

Dear Reader,

As I look back on the story of my life in the year 2013 (poetic, no?) I realize that I have changed. This is undoubtedly by God's grace.

I recall being frustrated and anxious in January 2013. I had wanted to quickly finish my high school program on time in order to get my transcript and to submit applications to the Singaporean universities I had my eye on. I was enthralled by the K-pop group U-KISS and was close to worshipping them. I was bursting with the agony of hiding my sin from my family. And most importantly of all, I felt that I was unworthy to be noticed by God.

Let's move on to February, where I finally sent in all the documents needed for my applications to the Singaporean unis after graduating from high school. Guilt was gnawing at me, and, in a mini-breakdown, I confessed my sin to my family. It wasn't a pleasant thing. And I cried for a week after, overwhelmed by the fact that my family and God -- yes, God -- still loved me no matter what I had done. For the first time in this year... I knew beyond a doubt that God could forgive my transgression.

March, April, May passed me by as I struggled to relearn the biblical principles I should have known by heart and to regain the trust of my family.

Then June came. And it was then that a huge blow was delivered that had me question my self-worth. The Singaporean universities rejected my application. While I was wallowing in self-pity, my parents forced me to pick myself up and send off more applications, this time to Australia. I remember doubting them, inwardly shaking my head and bitterly preparing myself for another rejection. But then, God worked a miracle, and I was accepted at one of Australia's famed Great Eight universities. Shock gave way to gratitude to God, for paving the way, for showing me what He wanted me to do.

July, August, September, October disappeared in a flurry as God guided me step-by-step into what He had planned for me. Those months also passed as my obsession with U-KISS grew.

Two momentous things happened in November. Firstly, with the support of those around me, I made a strong, firm decision. I wasn't going to let U-KISS take over the place that should belong to God, and by His grace, I severed my ties to that group and fandom. (I made a new friend from that experience, though, and, since we both left the U-KISS fandom, we are both spending time growing in the Lord.) The second thing is that I won NaNoWriMo! (A contest where you write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days -- more info at nanowrimo.org)

It's the end of December now. I've spent most of this month with visiting relatives and guests (quite predictably). But if you were to compare my current state of mind with that of January 2013, you would find, I hope, a difference.

I'm at peace, knowing that God holds my future in the palm of His hand. I am free from the burden of guilt that had weighed me down, because He removed it. And I have the desire to grow in Him.

This is my last post for 2013. I will always remember this year as the time when God showed His grace and mercy on my life.

Thank you all, my dear readers, for sticking with me during this adventure. Hopefully, I will see you all in 2014. May God bless you all.

Yours Truly,
Joanna
A Minister's Daughter

How Should Christians Deal With Halloween?

Dear Reader,

Today is October 31st, commonly celebrated as Halloween.

On this day, houses are decorated with carved pumpkins and spooky decorations. Children dress up in costume and go to trick-or-treat for candy. Adults gladly give out candy and organize parties to celebrate the holiday.

I find Christians mixed on their response to Halloween. Some say that we should use it as a platform for evangelism. Some say that there is nothing wrong with celebrating Halloween. Some say otherwise.

Here's what I think.

We should take whatever opportunity to share the gospel. However, we must pray for wisdom and for that opportunity, if it be from God or from man.

For example, I will remain very skeptical of the idea of holding haunted houses to evangelize, regardless of how many people are converted. Those people could have chosen to become Christians in the blur of temporary fear and not in the beauty of genuine conviction.

As for celebrating Halloween, are we really trying to kid ourselves? It has been argued that we should be able to celebrate Halloween as we celebrate Easter and Christmas. This argument is based on the fact that all three originated as pagan holidays.

I strongly disagree with the idea that Christians should celebrate Halloween.

I have heard former Satanists testify that Halloween is a very sacred day for them. They would perform blood sacrifices - often human - on this day. Satanic rituals would be carried out. Halloween, unlike Easter or Christmas, is deeply and irrevocably associated with Satan and darkness.

As Christians, why should we take part in that darkness?

"And what communion hath light with darkness?" -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV

If we whole-heartedly celebrate Halloween like we do with Christmas, we would be taking part of that darkness.

Christians have been set apart. We are the "light of the world" and the "salt of the earth." We have to be careful with our actions. Consider the following.

"Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men." 
-Matthew 5:13, KJV

Also, what about those who have not yet matured in the faith? Who are still uncertain and might easily stumble? Halloween could be a stumbling block for them.

In short, as a Christian, I don't believe in celebrating Halloween. It's one of the ultimate celebrations of darkness.

Instead, on this day, my parents lead our family in fasting and prayer. We know our God is stronger than this world and the dark forces. And we fast and pray for those around the world who are in the grip of those forces.

Yours,
Jo
A Minister's Daughter

1 Corinthians 8

Ready to Die?

Dear Reader,

Today is the anniversary of the September 11, 2001, attacks.

It has been twelve years, and yet the event has left such an impression that it has not been forgotten by the world.

But, as many others undoubtedly have written on that matter, I will not endeavour to do so.

Instead, for now, allow me to share what I think about those behind the attacks, namely the Muslims.

Consider the following.

The Muslims were and are not afraid to die for the sake of Allah. They were and are willing to lay down their lives, their time, their resources, for the promise of eternal paradise. They pray five times a day. They faithfully follow the precepts and commands given in the Qur'an and other holy works.

And they do all of this without any thought of self-gain.

Let that sink in.

Christians, if I may, I would like to ask the following.

If you were to die tonight for the sake of the gospel, what thoughts will run through your mind? If you were given the choice of denying Christ and living or of clinging to Him and dying, which would you choose?

Simply put, are you ready to cling to Jesus, even if it means the end of this life? Even if it means death?

Are you willing to sacrifice your time and resources to make Christ known? Are you willing to spend time in prayer? Are you willing to cast aside your flesh to obey the law and precepts laid out in the Bible?

Think about it.

Many times, we don't ask ourselves these questions because they make us uncomfortable. In our prosperity and in our comfort zone, we tell ourselves that we don't have to think about such matters since we will never be in that type of life-and-death situation. We think those questions are irrelevant to our circumstances.

Does anyone agree or disagree?

Honestly, I tell you that, in a life or death situation, I don't know what I'll choose. Jesus? Or my life?

But what profits a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?

Hey, listen. It's likely that you won't ever be in such a situation.

What I'm asking is, do you have the conviction for you to be willing to die for Christ?

The Muslims are always ready to die for the sake of Allah. Christians, are you prepared or ready to die for Jesus?

"We Muslims pray five times a day and obey the Qur'an. We do everything we should. What about you Christians? We ask, what can we do for God? But you Christians ask, what can God do for me?"

The above quote came about in a conversation between a Muslim and a Christian, a friend of a friend.

Something to ponder and pray about.

Would love to know what you think.

Love you all dearly.

Yours truly,
Joanna
A Minister's Daughter

The Cyrus Case: A Warning to Parents and Teens Alike

Dear Reader,

As I am certain most of you know, last Sunday Miley Cyrus - former star of Hannah Montana, a series loved by many, including me - shocked people with her performance at an awards show.

(Before you worry, no, I didn't watch the performance. I learned about it when I was reading Fox News. ^^ )

Many articles have been written concerning this (some links at the end of this post), social media platforms like Twitter and Tumblr have gone a-talking.

So why do I add yet another article to the pile?

Because there is something in what-I-shall-now-dub-as-the-Cyrus-Case that is hardly being emphasized.

It is the fact that Miley Cyrus had a somewhat Christian upbringing. She attended church, wore a purity ring, was even baptized.

She was clearly raised as a church kid.

That means she knew what was right and what was wrong, as shown in the Bible. But she made a series of bad decisions that led to the Miley we see now.

This should warn us teens and remind us. We can be raised as church kids. We can know everything there is to know in the Bible.

But that doesn't mean we have a personal faith. Personal convictions.

If we don't have personal faith and convictions, the chances of becoming like Miley are higher. Much higher.

Pray that God helps you to develop that faith, those convictions.

This should warn parents as well as remind them. Be careful with the decisions you make when it comes to your children's futures. And always keep them close, always keep a close eye on them.

Billy Ray Cyrus, the father of Miley Cyrus, has always said that he "regret" signing on for Hannah Montana and that he wished it never happened. In one heart-breaking interview, he said that he wished he had been a better parent.

Simply sobering.

Remember the Cyrus Case. And, as we pray for God's mercy on us and our families, let us not forget to pray for the Cyrus family and others like the Cyruses.

Remember that we are all sinners and that God can forgive if we reach for Him.

Yours Truly,
Joanna
A Minister's Daughter

Links to Articles:
The Church Learns a Lesson From Miley Cyrus by Larry Sparks
Did Your Child Discern the Immorality in Miley Cyrus' Vulgar Performance? by Joseph Mattera
Miley's dad regrets 'Hannah' by New York Post

You can search for more articles similar to what I have linked, but I limited mine to Charisma News and New York Post.

Song of the Moment: "He Is With Us" by Love & The Outcome

Twitter: @JOei2911

Ear Piercings and Listening to God

Dear Reader,

Last Sunday, as I was getting ready to go to church, I had a heart-stopping moment when my earring simply refused to go through either of my pierced ears. I had not worn earrings for a week.

"Mom, don't tell me the flesh grew back AGAIN?!"

My mother came over and, with her help, I managed to put my earrings on. Though she did tell me that the skin was starting to grow again.

Let me explain my reaction and why exactly my heart lurched in fear.

When I was nine years old, I requested to have my ears pierced. This wasn't an unusual request since most girls would have already had them pierced by that age.

My earlobes were pierced (ouch!) and I kept the earrings in for a month in order to ensure the holes would stay open for the rest of my life. After the month passed, my mom removed the earrings to let my lobes rest for a week.

And the flesh grew back in that one week! I couldn't wear earrings at all!

I had my ears re-pierced when I was seventeen. (I have no desire to repeat that painful experience!) Since then, I have noticed that when I don't wear earrings for a week, or even a few days, the flesh would grow back slightly. That is why I wear earrings almost constantly to ensure that complete coverage of the holes never occurs.

Which brings me to the point of this anecdote.

In the Bible, ears refer to listening. (No surprise there!) I bring to your attention the story of the Golden Calf, in Exodus 32.

"And Aaron said to them, Break off the golden earrings... And all the people broke off the gold earrings which were in their ears... And he received them at their hand, and... made it a molten calf" (Exodus 32:2-4, KJV)

Do you see the significance of this action? At that point, the Israelites told themselves that they were no longer going to listen to God. So they broke off the golden (gold speaks of divinity) earrings. And they cast those earrings into an idol, the golden calf. 

I don't know about you, but, whenever I think of my ear piercings, I think about this story. And when the incident at the beginning of this story occurred, I thought of this story even more.

Many times, if I'm really honest, I don't want to follow God's will. To me, it seems painful to do so, especially when it means that my flesh, my worldliness, is going to get cut again. There have been times that I stopped reading the Bible just because what I read cut me through and through. 

But we have to read the Bible. If not... our worldliness can grow. Like the flesh in my ear. 

And, trust me, it is painful to get rid of that excess flesh. Spiritually and physically. 

That incident reminded me I needed to return to reading the Bible in order to hear God's voice. It's interesting to see how God can minister to a person and speak to a person through little incidents.

So. Are you listening to God this week? You never know when a little incident could bring something crucial to your growth as a Christian. :) 

Hope you all have a blessed day. :) Do drop me a letter sometime. :)

Yours truly,

Joanna

A Minister's Daughter

Exodus 32

Update: Those images have all but disappeared from my mind, praise be to God! God is so wonderful. I no longer have the desire to read that sort of graphic material. The battle can be won, thanks to Jesus. Okay.. now I'm crying. Moving on. I'm still recovering from that teensy-weensy obsession with the pop group. It's not as bad as before. Trusting God to remove this unhealthy obsession from me.

Instagram and Twitter: JOei2911

I'm Not Him

Dear Reader,

I am not like my younger brother.

My brother is very diligent in his studies, got perfect scores, and could learn languages easily.

And me? I was a girl who would procrastinate, would get not-so-perfect scores, and would have a difficult time learning languages, no matter how hard she tried.

Take note. My parents NEVER compared me with my brother.

In fact, they would always say, "As long as you do your best, it's ok that the score isn't good. Just try to do better next time."

I would always try to do better. From a young age, I was very aware that my parents didn't exactly have much money, even though they didn't talk much about that subject to us kids. And, as the eldest child, I felt I had to set an example for my younger siblings.

So I was determined that I would do my best in studies to somehow make up for it.

But I would often fail to accomplish my goals. The first time I got a sixty-two on an exam I got so upset and angry with myself. Why did I keep failing?

Why could I not be like my brother?

After many years of this, of trying to get scores that would equal my brother's, I got so frustrated that I simply gave up. I no longer cared to strive for excellence in my studies.

What was the point of trying to excel when, in my eyes, I would always fall short of my brother? When I would always fail to be a good example?

I would still get grades good enough to pass my exams. But I no longer strived to achieve a mark higher than my brother.

But I clung to one consolation: I did well in Literature, unlike my brother.

So when he got 100 in a Literature exam, a score I had not achieved, it was a huge blow to me.

Would I never be enough?

All of that frustration made me think seriously of suicide.

You might laugh at it. But to my mind at the time, my reasoning was that my parents would no longer have to worry about having a worthless daughter. (My words and thoughts, not theirs.)

My brother would be everything a good child should be.

I also started hurting myself for my perceived failures. I could not cut myself, since I knew my parents would find that out easily. So I resorted to other methods. I'd scratch myself, pinch myself, bite my arms, bang my head against the wall or other hard surfaces like books. I would do as much as I could without leaving a permanent mark.

I also set up secret schedules to "atone" for my wrongs. I'd stay up late or get up early to reflect on my wrongs or to study hard as punishment. I would lessen the amount of food I ate in attempts to punish myself.

I felt like a failure who deserved all of that.

Yes, I know the Scriptures. They say, "We are more than conquerors." "You can overcome all things through Christ." "You are precious in God's eyes."

But they meant nothing to me at the time.

I had convinced myself that my self-worth laid in my studies and in being a good daughter and sister.

When all of that is taken away... What am I worth?

On the days when I really hold on to what God says in the Bible, I don't think that I am a failure. I remember that I am a child of God, created in His image. I remember that it is okay to be not like my brother, because God made each of us unique and special. He knew us when we were in our mother's womb.

On the days when I can't really feel what God says, when it feels tempting to just use my own strength to atone for my failures, I remember that Someone already has atoned for me and that He sees me for me. He never compares me to my brother because He created us differently, with different strengths and weaknesses that complement each other.

I'm not my brother. That's okay.

We are all special in God's eyes. Each and every one of us.

We just have to remember that.

Love you all dearly.

Yours truly,
Joanna
A Minister's Daughter

The Fellowship of the Saints

Dear Reader,

It can often be easy to forget that we actually need to fellowship with other believers.

In fact, it can be rather tempting to just forgo the whole idea altogether, reasoning that we are able to get strength in our alone time with God and that we don't really need to spend time in a church.

I have been there, believe me.

I'm a minister's daughter, but I often have to attend church services where people other than my father were speaking and where the sermons were dry, bitter, full of hatred, theological jargon, etc.

And, many times, when my dad ministered in other places, the congregation would look at me and my siblings, silently judging us since we were the minister's children.

It was during those times when I wished that I wasn't a minister's daughter and that I didn't have to attend church.

What was the point of going to church if all I was going to get was (1) impractical and unbiblical sermons and (2) passing judgments?

What was the point?

I struggled with this. Scratch that. I still struggle with it.

I heard people say not-so-nice things about my dad. I saw many ignore my mom because of skin color.

And this is in a church, people.

The church, the place where these sort of things shouldn't happen, has these things happen.

But does this mean we should ignore the church? Does this mean that we should come out of it and live by ourselves in Christ?

I don't think so. However much I might want otherwise.

The Bible says that we should not ignore the fellowship of the saints. That we actually need this fellowship.

Wait. Say what?

"And let us consider one another to provoke to love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as you see the day approaching." -Hebrews 10:24-25

(I recommend reading the whole passage, though.)

But the point stated here is that by going to church, to fellowships, we learn how to better prepare ourselves for Christ's Second Coming. 

Not gonna lie. Many times, people in the church do things they shouldn't do. How on earth are those people going to help us grow?

Simple. They force you to build your character.

"Iron sharpens iron" says Proverbs 27:17.

This is the reason we fellowship. To encourage one another to grow. To sharpen one another's character - intentionally or unintentionally.

So, if you are having doubts as to whether you should continue going to a church that doesn't seem to help you grow, I would encourage you to pray about it and seek counsel. God knows your situation better than anyone else, so He is the best person to ask.

And also, for those of you who don't have those doubts, I would like you to ask yourself... Are you treating others the way you want to be treated?

Think about it. Are we really being or trying to be a true fellowship of saints? No one's perfect, but that doesn't mean we don't strive towards having better characters. Because people can change with the work of the Holy Spirit.

In my situation, it just forced me to rely more on God and His Word, something I had been lacking. I had to recognise that there was a reason why people wanted to judge my behavior. However, I think that is a story for another day.

I hope and pray that all is well with you, my readers. I missed blogging, but I had issues in real life to deal with.

May God bless you. Love you all dearly.

Yours truly,
Joanna
A Minister's Daughter

Hebrews 10:24-25

Song of the Moment: "If We Are The Body" by Casting Crowns

P.S. I will be out of town for the next few weeks. Unsure if I can get a post up, but I will try. Also, I would appreciate any advice on what to expect in uni. I will be going next year, but it helps to be prepared. Thank you in advance! May God bless you greatly.

His Ways Are Higher

Dear Reader,

If you recall, in my last post I spoke of my disappointment and confusion when I was rejected by two Singaporean universities.

I was left wondering what on earth God wanted me to do.

And most of all, I wondered if the problem was me.

Had I been arrogant when I applied to those unis? Was I a failure for being rejected?

I didn't know.

And that made me very reluctant to apply to other unis for fear of another rejection. Of once more missing what God wanted me to do.

My parents had to practically force me out of my self-pity party and drag me to apply to other places.

And you know what? I'm glad they did.

On their advice, I applied to places in Australia, secretly doubting I'd be accepted.

To my shock, I was accepted by a uni that ranked higher than the two Singaporean unis that rejected me. It is one of Australia's well-known Great 8 unis.

And I was left amazed and in awe of what Jesus has done.

Is this His will for me? Was this where He had wanted me all along?

Only God knows.

What I do know is His ways are higher than our ways.

Many times His plans are not the same as what we plan.

Thank God for that.

I hope this encourages you as it has encouraged me.

Keep trusting God and believing in Him. He knows our future, our hopes, our dreams, our hearts.

Yours truly,
Joanna
A Minister's Daughter

Jeremiah 29:11

Song of the Moment: "Lord, I Offer My Life" by Don Moen

When Things Don't Go Your Way

Dear Reader,

What do you do when things don't go the way you want them to?

I had thought that my life was pretty planned out for the next few years. I'd go and study my Bachelor's at a uni in Singapore, since Singapore is close to my family and friends. I'd study well, go to church, make friends, experience independence while missing that dependence.... this was the life that I had constructed in my mind.

Liking the Bad Guy?

EDITED: A few readers pointed out some flaws in my thinking. I thank them for doing so and have edited my post accordingly. Hopefully the edited version clarifies my thoughts. 

Dear Reader,

I have noticed a very disturbing trend lately.

Alone in the Crowd

Dear Reader,

Ever heard the saying, "Alone even though you're in a crowd"?

I was a homeschooled child who moved around a lot. By the time I was 15, I had moved at least ten times, over many cities and over three countries.

Idol-Worship

Dear Reader,

Have you ever looked at a picture of a celebrity and think to yourself, "That person is so cool/handsome/etc.?"

Or seen him/her act or sing and think, "He/She is so talented!"

When We All Fall Down

Dear Reader,

You may have noticed that I have not posted in a while.

That is because my heart broke and my mind reeled when I heard the news about the Boston Marathon Bombing and the events that followed.

I'm not American. So why did I even care so much?

Getting Burned

This is a continuation of my earlier post, Playing With Fire, as it came to my attention that many people felt the same way or went through the same problem, but didn't know how to deal with it. I don't pretend to know the perfect solution. But this was how it went down for me.

Dear Reader,

It is said that when you play with fire, you will get burned.

When I relapsed into reading that sort of material at age sixteen, I knew I was in trouble.

If you are like me, you had probably been taught the whole Bible doctrine. Sin is bad. Call out to God and He would help deliver you from sin.

Playing With Fire

EDIT: I wrote this blog post with the homeschooling community in mind. However, as some of my readers pointed out, the issue of sin is a universal thing. I have changed the wording to reflect this, but I would like to emphasize that homeschoolers would still face the problem of sin.

I would advise you to read with caution. I am aware that some parents extensively censor what their children read. However, I believe that this is something people need to know.


Dear Reader,

The descent into sin isn't an immediate one. It is a slow process that drags you in, bit by bit.

My very first encounter with things of a sexual nature was when I was maybe seven/eight. It's been so long ago that I hardly remember.

A Bit About Me

Dear Homeschooled Teen/Homeschooling Parent,

My name is Joanna Oei. You may call me Jo for short if Joanna is a bit of a mouthful.

I started this blog because I want to help you. I know how difficult homeschooling can be. The loneliness. The desire to be normal like the other teens. The pressure of living up to everyone's expectations. The idea that our parents are being overly demanding. The question of believing the same as our parents do.

Hi Everyone!

So I've had this blog for forever but I haven't done anything with it. I guess I'll just say hi and hope that I know what I'm doing. (Actually, I don't, but meh.) I'll come out with an actual post sometime soon. Later! -Jo